Welcome to the Latham Family’s tribute to Ben Latham, a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, colleague and friend of so many. In the few days since Ben died we have had many wonderful messages and stories from people who Ben came into contact with and the message is the same – he was loved, respected and cared passionately about everyone he knew. This is an opportunity to bring all ‘Ben fans’ together to share your memories and stories of Ben and discover what made him a giant of men.

Your stories

Please share your stories of Ben. They will probably involve dressing up…

Where does the time go?? 11th Dec 2019

Guy 11th Dec 2019

A year has passed and it barely feels like a week since the terrible news and subsequent funeral of my dear friend...I’m afraid that my head is still very scrambled when thinking about Ben and how he won’t be at my fast approaching 50th, or any such future event in anything other than his magnificent spirit. I believe that this is something that will always stay with me in some shape or form, and for that I am very grateful. My story of Ben is one of his friendship and care. For a short time we shared a flat in Nottingham and for me this was my first experience of living away from home and whilst at the time I did not realise it he was doing his best to help me make the transition from living with parents to living in a different way. Ben would listen, asses and take action accordingly (usually by gently poking fun at my skills in the kitchen or how long it took me to get out of the house in the morning) But with the benefit of hindsight I see now how he was making me feel as at home as possible without resorting to being so obvious about the whole thing. This for me was/is proof of his intuitive nature and flare for the lightest of touches but always hitting the nail on the head in terms of what each situation required of him. This is a skill that not many people have and I will forever be glad to have shared our time together and couldn’t imagine a better wing man or indeed leader to help me start life away from home. I think I’ve seen more evidence of this care and friendship from Ben in the subsequent years but for me the time in that less than amazing flat was him near his very best. Much missed but more celebrated. xx 11th Dec 2019

Memories 10th Dec 2019

Steve Wilson (Weave) 10th Dec 2019

I can’t believe it’s nearly a year since Ben died, if I am honest I struggle to accept he is gone. The person who was the most full of life of anyone I knew. As awful as it is to remember receiving that terrible phone call at work on a Tuesday morning, one year on this is a time when it is so much more important to remember how lucky we were to have Ben in our lives. Although Ben went far too soon, there is no doubt that he left a lifetime of memories. I’ve said many times in the last year that “he was the best of us” and he truly was. His legacy lives on in so many ways. Of course in Poppy and Harry, who he loved so much and of whom he would be so proud and in Tracey who is simply amazing and so inspirational in how she has supported her family over the past 12 months whilst her own grief must have been almost unbearable. But his legacy also lives on in the friendships that he was such a pivotal part of and that will endure forever because of him. Some go back years, in my case to first year infant school, some are new and have grown in the past year, like the bond that has developed between the North Newbald crowd and the Derby gang. The new tradition of the “Ben Latham derby” between Hull and The Rams which I hope will continue for many years to come. Ben’s impact on all of our lives will continue in so many ways but as we approach this really difficult anniversary it is important we also look back and savour some of those amazing memories. I am going to single out three stories because they capture Ben’s impact in different ways. There are literally hundreds of stories about the big nights out with Ben and I have to include one of those of course, but there are just as many stories of more intimate occasions, either one to one or as couples or at quieter family events (were they ever quiet if Ben was there though?). Ben’s sandwich year at Carlsberg Tetley is the source of many stories about the big man. The parties at his parents’ house catered for from the brewery shop were legendary (sorry Derek and Pauline), but another benefit was the tickets to sporting events. Many of us got to see Euro 96 games courtesy of Carlsberg and a few lucky souls enjoyed days at the cricket. The cricket days got particularly messy. I remember a particularly enjoyable train journey back from The Oval to Derby with Ben and I playing a highly memorable game of four-heads (look it up if you don’t know!) sitting opposite a middle aged woman trying to read her book. The coin must have fallen on her about 50 times during the course of the journey and each time she smiled and handed it back without a word. Ben and Tracey were regular welcome guests at Claire and my various houses over the years. Firstly just the four of us and then with Poppy, Harry, Jamie and Ben. On a particularly memorable occasion they came up to celebrate my birthday, it must have been in the year 2000. When Claire and I first got together Ben went out of his way to welcome her to our group of “school” friends and Claire and Tracey had got on really well from the start. All of which meant Claire was devastated when, after being served take away pizza at our house for the umpteenth time, Ben confessed to Claire that he didn’t like pizza and had been pretending he did just to avoid upsetting her! Of course it was rubbish but Claire was genuinely mortified until months later when Ben relented and admitted it was a lie. That night went on to be one written into legend, involving vodka shots, Emmerdale’s Lisa Riley, and being ejected by the bouncers for trying to throw Tracey in the Bridgewater canal. On another memorable occasion Ben and Tracey came up to Manchester, this time with Stu, Amber and Derek in tow, to see Derby play Man United at Old Trafford. Derby won 1-0 to secure their premiership place for another year but the most memorable event was Ben egging Derek on to acquire an Australian shield from behind the bar in honour of Amber’s homeland! There are so many more stories (I have already written about the eggs which were the highlight of my stag do), too many to write about all of them but I am grateful every time one of them randomly pops into my mind, sometimes at the most inappropriate moments. I miss Ben every day but these memories are priceless and hearing all the stories from Ben’s friends always makes me smile. I know how proud Ben would be of Tracey, Poppy and Harry but I also hope every so often we can roll back the years and make him proud as we honour him in the most appropriate way! 10th Dec 2019

Three Cream Crackers 10th Dec 2019

Charlie Salter 10th Dec 2019

It's always nerve-wracking meeting your girlfriend's family for the first time. Will they like me? Will I say the wrong thing? Will they serve me things for lunch I just don't like? Will I answer the questions they fire at me? Will they welcome me? Sarah and I headed to Hieron's Wood in Derbyshire for my first trip to meet her family. An icy wind crossed the country as we set off north to the Latham family Christmas to meet my new girlfriend’s parents and two brothers. My heart was beating fast up the M1. A slight sweat on my forehead despite the chilly air outside. As I edged up the icy driveway, the moment had arrived. I kissed Pauline, shook hands with Derek and then craned my neck upwards from 6ft 2 to 6ft 6 to look Ben in the eye as he shook my hand. 'Hi Charlie, nice to see you. You're brave.' As we drank coffee, unpacked our bags, pushed our gifts under the groaning Christmas tree and set about setting the table, I was consumed with: 'what did Ben mean when he said I was brave?'. I'd only just arrived, I'd said nothing, not offended anyone. So what did he mean? Jeez, this could be a long day. A mistake, even. Lunch was served, plates groaning, Derek carving, Lathams shouting, me listening, all of us quaffing. The carving stopped, the eating continued, the interruptions quickened, the desire to report back on lives hastened, the plates were licked, the cross examinations more confusing, the bellowing voices more deafening. 'Well, what do you think of the Latham family meals then, Charlie?' asked Ben. I was going to say something polite about the food, company, a thanks for the warm welcome and thoroughly interesting chat over turkey and all the trimmings. But I'd only got 6 words out before being interrupted again. 'Tricky getting a word in isn't it?' bellowed Ben. 'You just have to shout and keep talking, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.' I was starting to understand 2 things: how brave I was to step into a Latham family lunch unprepared to stand my ground verbally. Secondly, how kind and considerate this new guy I'd met was. Ben had my corner. Washing up done, Pauline's snooze complete, more half sentences later, we sat down for games. But I wondered what the Lathams could play that involved any quiet time? But my bravery had not yet really been tested. There was the biggest challenge to come. Ben's idea. Ben's insistence. A wonderful introduction to his fun, mischievous and devious side mixed with a genuine warm, welcoming, earnest and honest man. 'Bet you can't eat 3 cream crackers in a minute, Charlie', proffered Ben. Nervous, I looked up, all eyes were on me with anticipation of what the posh southern bloke would say. Would he rise to the challenge? Was he brave? Would he go the way of all previous boyfriends who couldn't take the Latham Lads’ challenge? 62 seconds later, the roof of my mouth was devoid of skin. My ruby cheeks bulged. My saliva a distant memory, my glass of port insufficient for the clearance job required in my mouth. I had failed but I has passed. My bravery intact. The banter with Ben had begun its long and wonderful journey. Ben's deep laugh ringing in my ears, his handshake firm and friendly. After that, the golf ball slipped into my pint glass, shots followed by dressing me up like Dame Edna on Brighton sea front, beer races with all the groom’s party at our wedding. The list of challenges, banter, support and friendly warmth continued unabated. But it never got harder than three cream crackers. 10th Dec 2019

SHARE YOUR STORY

YOUR MESSAGES

Please share your message about Ben and what he meant to you…

jamie hancox 13th Jan 2019

I did not know Ben well. We met through work, and on several occasions my job was to try to extract some of the complex messages in his head about the work he did - then simplify them for the common man. The words that come to mind to describe those conversations are "intellectual" (him not me), and "benevolent". He was kind, patient and so very likeable. I wish his family and colleagues with whom he worked for so many years many condolences. 13th Jan 2019

Matt Looby 07th Jan 2019

Such sad news. Was absolutely shocked to hear about Ben. The last time I saw him was at Brough station and he was on his way to Manchester to fly out to Boston to meet a new client. Always remember him taking me to his favourite pub in Prague for a steak and a few beers, and he told me that it was a special place for him and Tracey, and always his first port of call when returning to Prague. RIP 07th Jan 2019

Ketan Patel 02nd Jan 2019

Still a shock - Ben was one of life's few special souls you get to meet. A true gent, you will be immensely missed as a dear friend and as a colleague. RIP 02nd Jan 2019


 
SHARE YOUR MESSAGE

Your pictures

Please share your pictures of Ben. He loved the camera…

 

Tori May - The Beautiful Boys - Where’s Ben’s Drink? 30th Jan 2019

Anna Hunter (Farnsworth) - My brothers Tom, Ben and I went to Walter Evans and Ecclesbourne with Ben and his siblings. We were all deeply saddened to hear the news about Ben and remember him fondly. Whilst at my parents over Christmas I found this photo of what I think is the Year 5 and 6 championship football team from Walter Evans! Sending our love, The Farnsworth family x 29th Dec 2018

SHARE YOUR PICTURE
;